What If?
by Chaos of Hearts
Summary: My 1st &, I think, deserved WR humor fic. Slight romance. No shounen-ai on a technicality. Pairings: against my better judgement, but for a little fun, Tsume & snicker Kiba. Pleaz R&R.
1. Kiba Was Female

**What If....?**

Nobody said anything about whether they'd like to see this or not, so I'm gonna give it a shot. I'm playing the omnipotent author, and poor Kiba's my pawn. I don't own Wolf's Rain. And just so you know I'm 99.9% _(okay I admit it 100%)_ Toboe & Tsume. But this idea wouldn't leave me alone. So it's time for a little fun..... 

**Kiba Was Female**

**** "Just so ya know, this is the first time I've done this sorta thing." Kiba walks up behind me. "Who are you and who are you talking to?" I grin evilly, "sorry Kiba, but in order to have some fun, I hafta interfere with this particular fic just once." Kiba looks confused, "what are you talking about?" Poor thing's clueless, ain't he? "Sorry snowflake, but I have to use my omnipotency just once to satisfy myself." Author knocks Kiba out, turns him into a girl, and disappears to watch the proceedings from a safe area. 

Kiba wakes up in a clearing with a headache, trying to remember what happened. He begins to look himself over, making sure he's all right. "WHAT THE HELL?" The other three wolves come running to find out what's the matter. Tsume, in the lead, stops short, causing Hige and Toboe to run into him. "Tsume, what'd ya....." Hige trails off staring over Tsume's shoulder. "Wow! Me first." Hige scrambles past Tsume, who throws him back against a tree. "Would you can it?" Hige rubs his head, "you just want her for yourself, don't ya?" Tsume glares at the tan wolf. Hige just picks himself up and walks calmly over to the female wolf seated on the ground. 

"Can I give you I hand up miss?" Kiba shoves him away, "come off it Hige." Toboe studies the girl in front of him. She's a pretty, slender young woman with dark hair and sparkling blue eyes. A denim skirt flitted lightly about her ankles in the gentle breeze, and her half-sleeved jacket hung open revealing a white short sleeve blouse underneath. 'She looks so familiar,' the young wolf thinks to himself. Then suddenly, it hits him. "Kiba? Is that....you?" The girl glares at him, "who the hell do you think I am?" Toboe blushes slightly, "I'm sorry, it's just that you....you're a....a girl." 

"And you think I didn't notice?" Kiba's voice rises steadily, brimming over with anger, confusion and aggression. Hige stumbles backwards upon realizing that the young lady is actually his best friend. "Hey, Kiba?" She turns and snaps, "what?" Hige winces slightly, "uh, what happened?" Suddenly on the verge of tears, she sinks to the ground. "I don't know. I remember meeting this strange girl and....," she sniffles, "and then....then I blacked out." Tsume, Hige and Toboe stare at Kiba, totally confused by the sudden 180 in her personality. "Uh, Tsume?" "What?" "Wasn't she yellin' at Hige a minute ago?" "Yeah." "So, uh, what happened?" "Kid, I don't really know." 

Uncertainly, Hige approaches the crying female. "Kiba?" She looks up at him, sniffling. "What?" "It's okay. I mean, ya don't hafta cry. It sounds like somebody did this to you, so it's not your fault." She studies him a moment, then smiles. As Hige thinks about how pretty her smile is, she pounces him in a hug, knocking him over. "Thank you," she says and shyly gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. Kiba then hops up and pulls the dazed Hige to his feet. 

"Uh, Tsume?" "What Toboe?" "I don't think he, she, uh....I don't think Kiba's exactly Kiba anymore, and I don't mean physically." "For once kid, I think you may actually be right." The two watch as the now cheerful female wolf drags the completely shocked tan male towards them. "You know what Toboe?" "What Tsume?" "I think whoever did this completely changed Kiba into a female. Physically, emotionally, personality wise, the whole nine yards." "Tsume?" "Yeah?" "I hope for once you're wrong." "Me too kid, me too." 

__

_Chaos: _So, what do you think so far? To tell ya the truth, Tsume doesn't know how right he is. I am gonna go the whole 9 yards with Kiba being a girl. Mood swings, over reactive, overly emotional, the works. Don't kill me for any stereotypes, pleaz. I'm a girl too, after all. But I've done 5 serious one-shots and I'm workin' on 2 serious chapter fics with Wolf's Rain. I think I deserve to do one humor fic and this idea wouldn't leave me alone. I hope ya like it, and it's gonna get crazier, so please bear with me. Thanx 4 lstnen. Bye! 


	2. Tsume Fell In Love

Ha ha, Kiba's a girl. So, what's gonna happen with the other three? One way to find out. The whole fic's gonna be pretty OOC, but that's what's so FUNNY! This chappie is why I clarified earlier that I am Tsume&Toboe4eva. _(I'm also Blue&Hige4eva!) _I'm takin' Tsume waaaaay outta context. 

**Tsume Fell In Love**

The grey wolf swallows hard, trying to shove unwanted thoughts from his mind as he watches the hardly subtle movements of the now female white wolf. Kiba, however, is blissfully unaware of the attention she's getting. At least for the moment, the powdery female is far more interested in the slightly dazed and beginning to become rather uncomfortable Hige. The poor vexed fellow had realized a bit earlier that the first couple buttons of his companion's blouse were undone, and it's making him somewhat....anxious. 

Tsume had noticed the open buttons as well but, unlike Hige, was considerably more interested. "Tsume!" The grey wolf suddenly finds himself wrapped in a tight hug, blue eyes gazing up into his. "Yeah," he manages, uncertain how to respond. "That silly Hige won't let me give 'im a kiss. Will you?" Tsume's eyes go wide at the question, as he comes to an understanding of just how female Kiba's become in such a short time. "I, uh...." "Puh-leez," she begs, voice quavering on the verge of tears once more. 

Afraid of invoking another mood swing, potentially back to the vicious, angry one, Tsume swallows. "O...okay." Satisfied, Kiba presses her lips softly against his for a short moment. Then she pulls away, smiling slyly. "Thank you," she says coyly. _(OMG! Kiba's flirting w/ Tsume! What the friggin' hell am I on?)_ Tsume just stands there a moment, trying to come to his senses. "Yo...you're welcome." She beams, then bounces back to the stunned Hige. "Tsume? Are you all right?" He shakes his head, then turns to the smaller wolf beside him. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

Toboe glances over to the female, now tugging on Hige's sleeve and not looking too happy about something. "I'm not sure we can put up with Kiba like this." He looks up at the older wolf, "what do you think?" Not really sure himself, Tsume shakes his head, searching for an answer. "Don't worry 'bout it pup. She's just gonna take some gettin' used to." But Toboe notices the vague uncertainty in Tsume's voice, "I guess...." 

The pair move over to where Kiba is pestering Hige, "come on Hige, why not?" The tan wolf sighs in exasperation, "because I've already got a girlfriend, that's why not." His snowy friend gives him an irritated look, "you like that dog better than me?" Instantly realizing what might happen if he says yes, Hige alters his answer, hoping to calm the female and still get the point across. "It's not that at all Kiba. It's just I....I liked Blue before I even met you." 

He smiles then, having thought of an interesting idea to not only save his skin, but also have a little fun. "Besides, what do ya want me for? Wouldn't ya rather have Tsume? I mean look at me, I'm useless 'cept my nose. And my pride, well, I'm wearin' a collar like a dog aren't I?" Tsume glares at Hige, while Kiba studies him a minute. "You're right." "I am? I mean, course I am." Kiba continues, "I don't really think you're all that useless, but Tsume is stronger, even if he is a little smaller. And what self respecting wolf would wear a collar?" _(Hige would. Damn Kiba, she's outta control. What'll she do next, kiss Tsume again? Wait a sec.....that's not a bad idea!) _

She either doesn't notice or chooses to ignore Hige grumbling under his breath. "Not to mention, while he's not as cute, Tsume is better looking." _(Ane, tryin' to get Kiba away from Hige here. Pleaz ignore all Hige bashin'. I really do love him.) _"You're right snowflake." Hige playfully ruffles her hair. "Snowflake? You do still like me!" She hugs him tightly. _(What the...? The female Kiba **likes** her nickname? Now I'm lost.) _ "Ahem, are you two done yet?" Tsume's starting to get more than a little annoyed with the previous topic of conversation. "Done with what Tsume," Kiba asks, playing dumb and innocent. _(And w/ Tsume's head)_

He takes a deep breath, then sighs. "Can we just get going?" "Oh, okay!" Tsume starts to walk off and Kiba attaches herself to his right arm, Toboe right behindthem and Hige a short but safe distance back. "Tsume?" "What?" He turns to look at her. _(Ane, shouldn't of done that. It's one of her traps.) _Kiba promptly kisses him again. "Love you." The grey wolf turns his attention ahead of him again, blushing slightly and VERY uncomfortable about the whole situation. Unfortunately, the resilient female refuses to be detached. 

_Chaos:_ Tsume won't admit it, but he is startin' to fall in love with the new Kiba. You'll see it more in later chapters. I am bringin' Blue into this later. Whether she and Kiba will clash or become friends I have yet to decide. Anyway Toboe next. Hope ya like it, pleaz review and WHAT THE HELL happened to all the people reviewing 'Meet Me In The Middle'? Is it 'cause I upped the rating? Chpt. 4's not _that_ bad I swear. It's all implied, really. Besides chpt. 5 is soooo cuute! ARE PUPPIES NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE?! _Chaos sobs 'cause no one likes her other ficcie no mores _On a brighter note, I'm starting a Tsume fic. Yet another serious one. But I think you'll like it. Bye bye! 


	3. Toboe Cuddled Up

Tsume is falling for my female Kiba. _insert evil laughter _Now we shall deal with Toboe's reaction. 

**Toboe Cuddled Up**

As the four wolves settled down for the night, Tsume was still trying to detach his female Kiba. And he wasn't having much luck. "Kiba...," still trying. "But Tsume, you're comfy." The grey wolf sighs, obviously not getting tonight to himself. Deciding to cave and hoping to slip away once she's asleep, he lay down in wolf form. Kiba curled up to him happily, laying her head across his neck. "Am I your pillow?" The snowy female smiled sleepily, "mm-hmm." After several moments Toboe came over, used to sleeping near Tsume. The pup stood there and studied the scene before him a minute. Then he went over and tried to worm his way in between the two older wolves. 

Kiba moved over slightly to let the smaller wolf in between her and Tsume. She didn't really mind and it was pretty cold out. "Cold pup?" Toboe smiled at her, "sort of." She smiled back, "don't blame you. It's freezing out." Looking around for Hige, she noticed Blue had returned from wherever she'd been _(Am I vague or what?)_ and was snugged up to Hige. Satisfied, Kiba lay her head across Toboe and back on Tsume, who sighed, having thought he'd been given a chance to disappear long enough to get his head on straight. _(Tsk. I'm not that nice Tsume.) _

_(Ever watch the Waltons? :) Don't worry if you get lost.)_ Toboe lifted his head a moment, "g'night Kiba." "Night Toboe. 'Night Hige." "Night Kiba, 'night Blue, 'night Toboe." "G'night Hige, g'night Kiba. " "Night Blue, 'night Tsume." "G'night Tsume, g'night Toboe." "GO TO SLEEP DAMMIT!" Tsume'd had enough of that. The other four wolves just smiled at each other. The days to come were gonna be a lot of fun. _(Anybody feelin' sorry for Tsume yet?) _The next morning when all the wolves were getting up.... 

Hige nuzzled Blue, "hey hon, sleep well?" She nodded sleepily, "mm-hmm. You?" "Just fine. Look." The smile was almost devilish. He guided her view to the other three. Blue laughed. Somehow Tsume had wound up in between Toboe and Kiba. Toboe was on his back, using Tsume for a pillow. Kiba had her head against the grey's chest, an ear over his heart, while Tsume had his head laid across Kiba's neck. Hige chuckled softly, "now isn't that cute? Wish I had a camera." He walked over to the trio, "hate to wake 'em up. Oh well. Time to get up lil sis." He nudged Kiba, who groaned and snuggled tighter against Tsume. 

"Not yet. Five more minutes." Hige nudged her again, harder this time, "come on. Rise and shine." Finally she got up, severely disturbing the two males with her. "I'll rise, but I refuse to shine." "How can you not shine? You're gorgeous," Tsume muttered, still 95 asleep. It took all of Hige's self-control not to laugh. Funny the things people admit to when they're not really awake quite yet. "Come on guys, get up. We gotta go find some breakfast. I'm sure these two lovely ladies are starving." Both females giggled and nodded. Given opportunity, Hige pulled the other two to their feet and drug them to the nearest town. They had searched the area the night before without any sign of food so he figured they'd have better luck there. 

_Chaos: _Kinda short I think, but it works. In short, Toboe is unfazed by the fact that Kiba's female. He's young, it's easier for him to adjust. And if you haven't noticed, I'm determined to drive Tsume insane! Buh-bye! 


	4. Author's Note

HIIIIIIIII! Just so ya know I'm still alive, and that there will hopefully be a new chapter of this up soon. 

O.o So many reviews! That's what I'm doing this note for. I'd like to catch up on doing review responses, because it's fun, and if I don't, I'll get confused as to where I am on them next chapter. So here are my responses, by chapter, so I might get to you more than once.

**Chapter One**

**alesca monroe: **There is -way- more where that came from. Enjoy.

**BrittneyAnna: **Yes, Kiba is female. hehehe Despite my devout love of Tsume/Toboe, this particular fic shall be Tsume/Kiba. Just 'cause I can.

**Demonskid: **I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it.

**kobiresurrected: **You think what you've seen's funny, wait'll you see what I've got in store for them.

**wolf of ice: **Please don't suffocate yourself laughing. This is far from over and I'd hate for you to not see the end.

**Ryu, The Demon Wolf: **No don't die! I need all my wonderful reviewers, 'cause this is gonna get funny as hell.

**Alyssa Le Barts:** I'm glad so many people find this funny, but I wish you guys would stop hurting yourselves while you're laughing. And yeah, Tsume and Toboe are awesome.

**alfawolf:** I have a new reviewer, hooray! Glad you like it.

**Chapter Two **

**dragon's lair: **Love the Blue and Kiba as friends idea. You'll definitely see it later.

**NalanaSpinderOfSouls: **femme-Kiba's supposed to be annoying. That's half of the point. The other half will show up later. I hope your floor is soft.

**Phoenix Archangel: **Thankies so much!

**Anony-mouse-cat: **I enjoy being evil really. It's a lot of fun. Ooh candy. I'll be sure to update.

**Kiba's Fang:** There may be kissing of the white and the grey later. I am not sure yet.

**Chapter Three**

**Yami Lover: **I don't think Tsume likes my pairing so much, but he will.

**Leigh:** I have a thing for gender-benders, but this is the first I've written. I'm glad it's being taken so well. And Tsume is definitely hot!

**devilishtomboy: **I think bashing should be reserved for humor fics. Oh wait, this is humor. Let the bashing commence!

**kaimelardraug:** Yet another Tsume fan for the books. There's more of us than I thought.

**Alyssa Le Barts: **Tsume won't go -too- insane, I promise. And he was three quarters of the way asleep when he said the "how can you not shine" bit. Next chapter's called "What If Hige Went All Brotherly On Us?"

**lonegreywolf: **Thankies for reviewing.

**kyolover44: **There shall be more, believe me. I've already got ten chapters laid out. It's just taking me awhile to write them all.

**Moonbeam:** Tsume will go insane, just not -too- much. The real insanity shall be saved for when Hubb shows up. He's gonna totally lose it.

**Phoenix Archangel: **You like Kiba? Wait til chapter five. There will be LOTS of Kiba. (And even more in chapter nine. ;D)

**shoradragon7: **1) Thankies

2) I get that a lot

3) I try, really I do

4) Sorry shora, I'm not on anything. I'm just friggin' insane!

**darksaphire: **And it's so much fun to write! You want Kiba to be a guy in the end huh? Well, I have a long planned twist involving that. And it'll show up in chapter...five. I went and checked out your bio (I was way bored when I got your review) and I see you like Inuyasha, Yu Yu Hakusho, and Beyblade too. I f you're looking for anything to read, just hit my bio. I've got bunches! (Though most are Wolf's Rain)

You can expect these at the end of each chapter from here on out. This was just to get me caught up because I'm three chapters behind.


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